Laundry Day
by Lucillia
Summary: How hard could it be to wash a coat?


"You've ruined it Peri!" the Doctor exclaimed as he gestured to the brand-new coffee stain that currently graced his coat.

"I'm sorry Doctor! I'm sure that if you wash it, it'll come right out. The TARDIS's laundry facilities..." Peri said somewhat plaintively, picking the mug that had previously contained a cappuccino up off the floor.

Heaving a put upon sigh, the Doctor turned and disappeared into the fathomless depths of the TARDIS, headed in the direction of the laundry room. When he reached said laundry room, it was only to find a load of Peri's clothing sitting still in the wash and copious amounts of water on the floor.

"I think it's broken." Peri said, stating the obvious.

"I can see that it's broken!" the Doctor snapped. "Fortunately, I have secondary laundry facilities elsewhere. Come Peri!"

With that, the Doctor turned and marched out the door, down several corridors, into a lift, out of said lift, down several more corridors and into a dusty and apparently seldom used section of the TARDIS with Peri trailing in his wake. The lights dully flickered to life as he made his way down the hall and into a room that could be mistaken for storage. Said room was plain and utilitarian, containing a single washer and dryer. The dim lighting, the linoleum flooring, and the walls that looked like they were whitewashed concrete all provided the impression of being in a basement.

"Oh ha ha!" the Doctor said sarcastically when he reached the washer, looking up and in the general direction of the Console room.

"What's wrong Doctor?" Peri asked.

"It's coin operated, and it only takes quarters." the Doctor replied.

"Well then, let's go get some." Peri said, turning to leave the laundry room that frankly gave her the creeps. She'd never liked basements all that much.

Heaving another sigh, the Doctor left his coat resting on the lid of the washer, made his way out of the laundry room, through several corridors, back into the lift, back out of the lift, through several more corridors and into the console room. He then entered a set of coordinates, and after a bit of a rough ride the TARDIS landed with a thump. A minute later, the Doctor and Peri were standing in front of a bank ATM and the Doctor was inserting a card.

The ATM spat the card out a second later.

"Confound it!" the Doctor exclaimed.

"What's wrong Doctor?" Peri asked.

"It rejected it." the Doctor replied. "This card is accepted on all the known worlds of three galaxies and this infernal machine rejected it."

"Maybe you put it in wrong." Peri said, indicating the image that indicated the correct manner in which to insert a debit card into the machine.

"Put it in wrong? Put it in wrong?" the Doctor said. "I assure you Peri, I didn't..."

Someone tapped the Doctor on the shoulder, cutting off his diatribe mid-sentence. Turning around the Doctor saw a tall brown-haired, brown-eyed fellow in a brown pinstripe suit, a long brown coat and sneakers standing behind him.

"I'd ask if you were going to take long, but I already know the answer. So, if you don't mind..." the brown haired man who was also the Doctor said.

"No, go ahead, _be my guest._" the Doctor snapped sarcastically, stepping away from the ATM.

The Doctor whose main color was brown stepped forward, pulled out a rather fancy Sonic Screwdriver with a light on the end, and aimed it at the ATM. Moments later, the machine spat out a sizable stack of cash. The more colorful Doctor who was currently sans his most colorful article of clothing gave the other Doctor a disapproving look.

"What? It's what you were planning on doing after the card failed." the Doctor in the brown coat said almost petulantly.

"Yes, but not so blatantly." the Doctor conceded.

The brown Doctor just gave him a look and walked back to his companion who promptly started informing him of exactly where she wanted to go for lunch. Turning his back sharply on the other Doctor, the Doctor turned back to the ATM and re-inserted the card, apparently determined to do things the right way in order to spite the other Doctor. After several more tries, he finally conceded defeat and pulled a piece of laminated Psychic Paper that was about the size of a credit card out of his wallet and inserted it into the machine. Moments later, the ATM spat out a twenty.

Stuffing the twenty-dollar bill into his pocket, the Doctor turned and stormed over to a nearby grocery store that was across the shopping center from the bank. Upon entering the grocery store, he made his way to the Customer Service counter behind which the store kept its supply of cigarettes as well as several other items including baby formula. He was second in line, and there was nobody manning the counter.

Eventually, after a wait that seemed to take an eternity, a young woman who looked to be just out of her teens with blue hair and multiple piercings made her way out of the back room which was also located behind the counter. The man ahead of him who had been tapping out a familiar four beat rhythm on the counter as he had waited took an insanely long amount of time to send a money order for which he hadn't previously filled out one of the available forms despite the fact that he'd had more than enough time to do so. As if to add insult to injury, he was sending a piddling sum that he'd paid entirely in pocket change which had to be recounted five times because he kept dropping coins. As he departed, the man gave him an evil smirk and walked over to a woman who was standing next to a news van that was waiting outside.

It finally being the Doctor's turn, he walked over to the empty space next to the register, pulled out the twenty, and laid it down on the counter.

"I'd like twenty dollars in quarters please." the Doctor said.

The woman rolled her eyes, then turned and disappeared into the back room, emerging a minute later with two rolls of quarters for which she exchanged the twenty-dollar bill. Her job done, she vanished into the back room once more.

"Wasn't she supposed to say 'Have a nice day'?" the Doctor asked, feeling that something was missing from the encounter which left him even more unsatisfied with his unsatisfactory customer service experience.

Leaving the store, the two made their way back to the TARDIS and back down to the laundry room where the coin operated washer sat silently mocking them. As the Doctor used a step-stool in order to get a dusty box of laundry detergent and a bottle of stain remover down off of a shelf above the dryer, Peri grabbed the multicolored coat and started emptying its pockets, including the hidden interior pocket.

"Doctor," Peri said, catching the Doctor's attention.

"Yes?" the Doctor replied, looking down at the young woman who was surrounded by an array of random objects.

"This tag says Dry Clean Only."


End file.
